As men, we often find ourselves caught in a relentless cycle: wake up, go to work, push through taxing hours, come home exhausted, and repeat. It’s a rhythm that feels all too familiar, and for many of us, it becomes the background music to our youth slipping through our fingers. The passage of time seems steady, yet when reflected upon, it can feel as if the years have vanished in a blink. The transition from school to work is one which catches many of us off guard, engulfing our lives and time. As the years pass with few notable memories or experiences, a gnawing question arises: ‘Where has my life gone?

The toll of work isn’t just in the hours spent at the desk or on the job site—it’s the weight of knowing that the salary exchanged for those hours often fails to keep up with the rising cost of living. We work, but the pay only keeps us barely afloat, enough to maintain a life that is just bearable. On top of that, with housing prices at the rate that they are, the dream of owning a home slips further out of reach, becoming a distant desire that plays a part in draining our mental energy. Begging the question are we living just to work? This exhaustion runs deep, leaving us too depleted to invest in what truly matters: building connections, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying a moment of peace. As the weeks merge into months, then into years, we reach for something that numbs the bothering feeling that our lives are slipping away.

Enter the infinite scroll.

In the hours after work’s suffocating grip loosens, we’re tempted by the glowing screens of our phones. Social media and entertainment apps become an easy escape, a temporary balm that takes our minds off the emptiness. Yet, beneath the surface lies a darker truth: these moments aren’t moments at all. The hours spent scrolling are unmemorable, fragmented, and hollow—time that vanishes without a trace.

We tell ourselves it’s just a way to relax, to “tune out,” but the cost is far greater than we admit. Each mindless session drains time and energy, offering only a fleeting sense of escape. Furthermore, it is not just the waste of time and energy but the false sense that we’re engaged in life when we’re just watching it slip by through a screen.

For men between the ages of 18 and 35, this is a pivotal period of life. These years are meant to be about growth, exploration, and building a foundation that propels us into a meaningful future. Lockdowns played an unfortunate role in the transitory passage of coming of age, taking away priceless years. Confining us to our homes only exacerbated the power that 'social apps' held over us.

And here we are in 2024, back to 'normal,' we are told, though it goes without saying that there is an unwavering sense that everything is out of sync. It’s like someone pressed pause on our lives, and without much notice, we were fast-forwarded into a future where we are much older but lack the experiences to match our aging. We should feel that we are back and can embrace life to its fullest again, right? But everything is more expensive, the job doesn’t pay enough, and the sense of optimism in my life and others' lives is fading. Should it really come as a surprise that young men and women are burying their heads in the sand of reels and social media?

Reclaiming our time begins with acknowledging where it’s truly going. It’s not enough to work and then drift into numbness—we need to actively engage in the pursuit of what enriches our lives. That might mean going out to places that offer opportunities for meaningful connections, reaching out to friends, learning a new skill, or simply taking a walk and letting your mind wander without distraction. I admit, it is easy to say and something we have probably promised ourselves before, only for it not to come to pass. The key is to break the cycle that tricks us into accepting this reality as unchangeable. The problem lies in how months or even years of habitual living can trap us into believing this is how it is and will always be. Without hope for a better day and the subsequent action, we will continue to live a life of monotony.

Our youth is finite, and the feeling of it slipping by can be a sobering wake-up call. But it’s not too late to change course. By being conscious of how we spend our time outside of work and understanding the impact of our habits, we can start to reclaim our days and, ultimately, our sense of purpose.

Choose moments that matter, not moments that blur into oblivion. Life isn’t just passing by—it’s waiting for us to participate

Gerberts Void has made an eye opening video on this topic which influenced this article. It is worth checking out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRKaP5eUhfU