In recent years, there has been a growing trend in self-development circles, especially among men, focused on "maxxing." The term refers to the idea of taking an average or below-average aspect of yourself and "maxing" it out. Whether it’s “gymmaxxing” for the ideal muscular body or “looksmaxxing,” where the goal is to perfect physical features like the jawline or facial hair, the idea is to boost one’s attractiveness and rise on the arbitrary "out of 10" rating scale.

Many young men, dissatisfied with their looks or lack of success in the dating world, are drawn into this ideology. Once on this treadmill, they are led to believe that reaching the right measurements and hitting the right targets will finally make them worthy in the eyes of women. It suggests that once you hit the right markers of physical appeal, everything else will fall into place. But is that really true?

The Illusion of Perfection

Looksmaxxing derives much of its appeal from the images we see around us: celebrities with piercing jawlines and male models with "perfect" features. It sells the idea that there’s a formula for attractiveness, something to aspire to. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your appearance. Losing weight, eating well, and exercising are all positive steps.

However, looksmaxxing takes this a step too far, turning self-improvement into a dogmatic obsession. It encourages a fixation on attaining a "perfect" look according to rigid rules. Men start dissecting every aspect of their face: eyebrow size, eyelid shape, cheekbone positioning, lip size—every detail becomes something to scrutinize and improve upon.

But here’s the catch: there’s always something that can be improved. And therein lies the trap.

A Path to Dissatisfaction

Looksmaxxing promotes a superficial pursuit. You might hit all the beauty standards but still feel insecure because your entire identity becomes tied to your looks. Instead of fostering confidence, it breeds dissatisfaction, because perfection is impossible. What’s worse, the energy and effort invested in perfecting your appearance can pull attention away from developing other, more meaningful traits—like how to be sociable, charming, or even content with yourself.

The Problem With Prioritizing Looks

The biggest issue with looksmaxxing is that it places an excessive amount of importance on appearance. This creates a culture of vanity and anxiety, where men feel incomplete until they achieve a so-called "perfect" look. But even if you do achieve it, you may find that the internal dissatisfaction remains, because your self-worth was built on a fragile foundation.

I’m not suggesting that "it’s only what’s on the inside that counts"—that would be an oversimplification. However, there’s a need for balance. Developing who you are as a person, emotionally and mentally, is just as important as looking after your body. I encourage a concept I call "beingmaxxing"—exercising and eating well to nurture your health and confidence while also working on who you are as a person. Socializing, reading, practicing gratitude, and letting go of envy are all key aspects of this holistic approach.

The Flaws in the Formula

Looksmaxxing also ignores the unpredictable nature of life. Despite the best efforts of those who follow its strict criteria, there will always be exceptions—scenarios where people defy the logic of the looksmaxxing formula. A man who doesn’t care about looksmaxxing might still outshine those who follow every rule, succeeding in relationships where looksmaxxers would expect him to fail.

Take, for example, the recent marriage of Lana Del Rey to a man many would consider “average” in appearance. To looksmaxxers, this might seem like an anomaly—how could someone who doesn't meet the rigid standards be chosen by a famous celebrity? But if you take a closer look at the world around you, relationships come in all shapes, sizes, and looks. There is no perfect formula.

Who Do You Want to Be?

For anyone currently caught up in looksmaxxing, or even considering it, I encourage you to pause and reflect. Instead of fixating on what you want to look like, think about your ideal self. Picture yourself living a life you are passionate about. What do they talk about with friends? What makes them excited? What brings them peace? Once you’ve visualized that, focus on the practical steps to live that life. Sure, go to the gym and eat well, but don’t waste your energy obsessing over minor facial features or superficial standards.

Ultimately, the person you want to be likely doesn’t squander hours analyzing geometric angle of their jawline. That ideal version of yourself is probably more focused on living a fulfilling life, connecting with others, and finding inner contentment.

So, before you go all-in on looksmaxxing, ask yourself: is this really the best use of your time and energy? Or is it time to start maxxing out on the things that truly matter?